I want you all to listen to a song.
For a while now, I’ve been trying to find a way to use words to tell you what Papa is doing in my life right now. My words never seemed to be enough…but I think this song will show you.
A few things first… You MUST listen to the whole song; don’t check out early. It is 4 minutes and 42 seconds, I PROMISE it will be worth that much of your time.
Also, a warning: this song has a few expletives in it. Please do your best to not get caught up on them. Listen to receive the message of the song as a whole. It really is incredible. And it really does reflect my heart and my story.
This song is called A Prayer – by Kings Kaleidoscope. Click on the song title. Listen to it now.
Over the past 3 weeks, but especially the last week, my heart cry has echoed the words of the singer in the first part of the song. There is pain and shame from the past, crushed hope for the future, and painful loss in the present, all that Abba has chosen to give me at the same time.
I have asked “Is there hope on the horizon?” I have cried “Jesus, where are you? Am I still beside you?”
And I’ve learned that that’s okay. Because Jesus has an answer to those questions.
I’M RIGHT BESIDE YOU! I FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL…I LOVE YOU, CHILD! I LOVE YOU!
I cry almost every time I hear these words, because they’re more than just a song. They’re Jesus’ actual words to me!
I want to share with you guys some words Papa actually spoke to me, that I wrote down in my journal last week.
“Do you trust me? Drew, I want to do some things that will hurt, but you have to keep believing I want what’s best. I am a good, good Father. I see the whole road. I’VE GOT YOU!”
So, right now I’m walking on a road that’s dark and winding. And I can’t really see what’s up ahead. But I can see the breathtaking light of the One who is walking beside me as he shines powerfully into the darkness.
He’s used this part of the journey to show me that he was with me in the hardest times of my past, to prove to me that he’s staying with me right now no matter what, and to begin to deepen my confidence and trust in who he is.
I’m still in the middle of it all, but I have never trusted Abba more or felt closer to him than I do right now.
So, dear reader, if you’re also on a dark winding road right now, look beside you. I guarantee Jesus is walking right beside you with every step. Ask him to open your eyes to the ways he is shining brightly into the darkness. Be ready to be amazed.
“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” – Dr. Brené Brown.
“But I’ll still believe though there’s cracks you’ll see
When I’m on my knees I’ll still believe,
And when I’ve hit the ground, neither lost nor found,
If you’ll believe in me I’ll still believe.” -Mumford & Sons
