Vulnerability- what I’ve learned about it and how I’ve lived it

Over the past two or three months, God has taught me so much about vulnerability. I’ve read about it, talked about it in class, practiced it, and now I want to share with you a few things about it.

So, let’s talk about vulnerability. 

I recently finished reading Daring Greatly, an incredible book about vulnerability by Dr. Brené Brown. She starts the book by quoting a speech by Theodore Roosevelt, written in 1910. Read this, and keep vulnerability in mind as you do.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,

because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;

who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory or defeat.”

 

The imagery in this speech beautifully captures the struggle that is vulnerability. It is never easy, and it usually does not feel so good. Many of us, as soon as we start to feel a tiny bit vulnerable, back away, stepping back into safety. And believe me, I’ve done this. It feels safer. 

But there’s no journey without an uncomfortable step. There’s no reward without risk. And there’s no true connection without vulnerability. 

Here’s what it looks like for me, in real life.

• I felt so, so vulnerable two months ago when I told my best friend that I had feelings for her. One week later, I felt just as vulnerable, when I asked her to be my girlfriend.

• I felt vulnerable a few weeks ago when I asked my roommates if they had any feedback for me.

• I felt vulnerable two days ago when I suggested a new idea to my boss at work.

• And I feel vulnerable right now as I write this blog. Because of my words that I put out here, I could be appreciated and praised, I could be ignored, or I could be attacked and disapproved of.

In each of these times, so much life came about because I decided to dare greatly. If I had played it safe, I would have missed out. 

So, I want to leave you, reader, with some questions. These are things we each need to think about personally, and I also welcome you to share your thoughts and ideas about this in the comment section below. 

• What makes you feel vulnerable?
• What things do you need to do to embrace vulnerability more?
• In what way do you need to let yourself be seen? 
• How do you need to begin daring greatly?