“But I’ll still believe though there’s cracks you’ll see
When I’m on my knees I’ll still believe,
And when I’ve hit the ground, neither lost nor found,
If you’ll believe in me I’ll still believe.”
-Mumford & Sons
I ended my last blog with this quote, and I’m coming back to it, because the Lord has been speaking to me a lot about cracks.
Last weekend God and I went on a hike together. On my way down the mountain, he showed me this tree.
As soon as I saw it, that song that’s become so familiar came into my mind.
But I’ll still believe, though there’s cracks you’ll see
I looked up…
and I saw that the tree was tall and strong, firmly rooted. It barely swayed in the wind. I got the sense that it had been standing resolutely for many years, blooming and growing in the right seasons, over and over again.
Many of us have misconceptions about cracks in our own lives and about what Jesus wants to do with them. What do I mean by a crack? I mean anything from your past or present that’s difficult and that has left a mark forever–a scar.
Maybe it’s a divorce. Maybe it’s loss of someone close. Maybe it’s abuse. Maybe neglect. Maybe a secret sin. Betrayal, unforgiveness, anger, abandonment.
There are 3 significant ways I think people misunderstand our cracks and how Jesus relates to them.
First, many think they can’t come to Jesus until they find a way to cover up their own cracks. They (indirectly) tell Jesus “I’m too broken for you. Maybe we can talk once I get all of this under control. Not until then.” They think Jesus wants perfection and order; that he can’t handle messiness.
If this is you, Jesus says
“Come out of hiding. You’re safe here with me. There’s no need to cover what I already see.” (from Out of Hiding–by Steffany Gretzinger)
You see, Jesus knows that no matter how hard you try, you’ll never cover your cracks up. He sees all and knows all…and he also redeems all. And he has a redemption plan for you…
On the other hand, many are willing to show their cracks to Jesus, but rather than redeeming them, they expect him to erase them. These people think that when Jesus comes in, he erases all pain and all the results of pain.
This was me for many, many years. But over the past few years, Jesus has shown me just how much his heart is for redemption and truth, not erasing or ignoring.
There’s a third group. It’s those of us who blame God for giving us our cracks. If this is you…I’m so sorry. I empathize with you. I have been there in this past month. You have some of the most difficult questions to wrestle through with him.
If you wrestle with blaming God for your pain, the best thing I know to do is implore you to read The Shack by William Paul Young. That book undoubtedly changed my life. Here’s one of my favorite quotes from it.
“Just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn’t mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don’t ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn’t depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you, will find grace in many facets and colors.”
Now is where my analogy with the tree starts failing to compare to Jesus’ purposes. In his miraculous way of redemption, he takes our cracks and turns them into something beautiful. This probably will take a long time. His work usually does take time. But he is so trustworthy, and he is so good.
I’m praying over you, readers, that you’d show Jesus your cracks and ask him how he plans to redeem them. And I pray that he will answer.
And more than anything, I pray that through difficult wrestling, in time, you’ll find yourself more intimate with him.
